It has always been you, realizing everything is just passing through and you cannot do anything about it because you do not know how to survive it. You are falling into the category they called powerlessly. You always end with nothing but failure.

Even if you think you care about what is going on and you think you would do anything to get out of hell, the truth lies beyond your actions. You care less even if you think you will die tomorrow, you cannot care more about the things you want in life. You think you have given enough to have crap in your life, and still lose anyway.

You just dream and dream and dream and think and think and think. Talk about crap.

You do not know what you want in life because something holds you back. You are freaking confused, hoping whatever decisions you made are not influenced by other people. However, the past is something you cannot undo even if you correct and do the right thing. As they say, the damage has been done and healing takes a lifetime. You know yourself more than anyone, you will not do it if you did not enjoy, love, and like it. Things just turned around and now you are confused, and you do not want it anymore.

More than anything, you are just afraid. You are scared.

You know what you want. You want to leave and it terrifies you because that was the last thing you would ever do if you are still the same. Newsflash, people change. Yet, you are still afraid of what will be the outcome, and staying the same didn’t scare you? Suppressing your feelings, and actions and resulting in being incapable to do anything. Remind you, you are always accountable for your feelings and actions so please take care of yourself. Also, you should not blame other people for your own actions because they cannot control you, you own yourself unless they have brainwashed you.

Control your life, take that steering wheel and drive yourself out of the way. Most importantly, consider yourself for whatever you will do in your life. Care less about other people’s crap about you even if it is your family and friends. Talk it out, and communicate with thy self.

Take courage, sweetheart.

Time is fleeting, gracefully. Even if you think you do not care about your own life because you are sulking all day and night. Stop thinking about it and get your ass up, it needs exercise. Easier said than done, I guess. Hell, walking a mile would do you a favor. Grab your favorite coffee and read that damn book on your shelf. Take your time and please own it. It is your only precious possession, yourself.

Slowly, you can do it. Just freaking do it, do not overthink the risk, okay? You do not need motivation anyways, it will come to you. Do not crave for it, crave for your own life. You are not late to do anything.

Says who, it always ends with you alone in the night, staring at that damn ceiling so you gotta grab that and own your life.

PS. Kick their asses who are stealing your own life.